crush, crush, crush

We all have our first crush--that first person we spend our days and nights dreaming and thinking about. We convince ourselves that this person is "The One" and then are crushed when it doesn't work out. You would think that we would get a clue. There's a reason they're called CRUSHES. But we don't. What is it about unrequited love that keeps us always coming back for more? There are three crushes that stand out for me.

My first crush was in 2nd grade and ever since there I've become a professional crusher. Lol. Those of you who know me well know all about my numerous celebrity and other crushes. The one who started it all was Dustin. Dustin Lewis. He was the cutest boy I'd ever seen and I fell hopelessly in love with him at the ripe old age of 7. We were in the same class and I was convinced that we were soulmates. One day, while were were waiting in line outside, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek while our teacher was looking the other direction (I thought I was sooo sneaky....). I wrote: "I love Dustin" on the inside cover of all my notebooks (side note: my Mom found one of these notebooks several years later and teased me about it...). Then we moved. And I never heard from or saw him again. CRUSH.

The second one that stands out for me is Matthias. I was 14. He was 16. Though I don't remember ever actually talking to him, I convinced myself that we were perfect for each other and we were going to get married one day. He had amazing blue eyes and the first time I saw him at church I was a goner. This infatuation lasted for the next 2 years. Nothing ever happened between us. Again my family moved and I never saw him again. CRUSH.

The third was about 5 years ago when I first moved back to Arizona. I was working for my uncle as the receptionist/office manager of his Occupational, Speech and Physical Therapy office. Daylyn came and interned with my uncle for a semester. We talked and laughed and worked together on a few projects. Once again I convinced myself that HE was the one for me. Something was going to happen between us, I knew it! All the smiles and "moments" had to mean something, right? Then the semester ended and he was gone. Nothing happned. A couple months later I decided to give the whole "online dating" thing another go. Who did I find on the site I was a member of? Daylyn! I got excited. This had to be a sign, right? Right?? I sent him a message. Nothing happened. CRUSH.

Last night I found out that I am someone else's crush. Ryan has confessed to my sister, Julia, that he things I am really pretty. Last night she told me that whenever he hears that I am coming over to the house he wants to come over as well. He has said he would "totally" date me. Why oh why is he only 14?! LOL. Why can't I get a guy my age to feel this way about me?? I feel bad for the kid because I know what it feels like to be crushed.

I wish there was a way to avoid all this crushing.